I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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