It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
