What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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