Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
