Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
