All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
