I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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