and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
