IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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