guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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