I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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