Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
