Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
