I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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