Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
