New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
