i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
