The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Of course I have a pirate flag
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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