Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
