K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
