I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize