Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
