8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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