also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize