Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
