Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
