all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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