piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
