I hate all girls vehemently.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm just crazy horny about you
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize