gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
