my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
