I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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