i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
