Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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