i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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