haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
