So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
