If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
