After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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