neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
