Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we made out on top of his cat.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
