Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
