I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
