Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
