Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
