no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
