it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
