well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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