just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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