that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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