Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
