ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
