If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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