the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
this hospital has no fireball
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
