we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
