i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize