btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
