Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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