what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
