the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
