So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
