3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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