I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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