and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Your penis caused this!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
