seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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