1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
