New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
